Friday, February 12, 2016

Parshat Terumah, 6th Portion, Exodus 27:1-8, February 12, 2016

You shall make it hollow, out of boards; as He showed you on the mountain, so shall they do. (Exodus 27:8)

I’ve been looking at my buttons. Coming from a libertarian background, from parents who were self-employed, from a mother who got the heebie-jeebies” from cults and directives, my button is pushed when someone tells me to do something.

As an artist, I’d start out doing the opposite of what I’m told, and go from there. I’m more interested in making mistakes that in doing it right. I did find a blog about someone who said they were a Jewish Libertarian. They certainly run in my family.

A friend was asking if Buddhists could be selfish. Wasn’t there a moral imperative to help others?

It seems the moral imperatives take all the fun out of giving. Am I going to be run by someone who tells me that it is a moral imperative to do this or that.

Will I obey the sabbath because someone told me to do it? Will I go to Friday night services to be a better Jew?

I’m so proud of my kids that they listened to themselves first. And they are doing so well.

I think of what one of teachers would tell us, “Listen to everyone and believe no one.”

So what I’m trying to put together is a spiritual life where my actions are directed by me. Is that possible? Can one be a Jew and hear the beat of a different drummer?

P.S. Toward the end of making the drawing for today... I thought to myself... sucker, you got taken one more day with your perfect reaction to the Torah. Who is this God that tells me what to do but me, myself and I? Who am I fighting but myself? Who is pushing all these buttons but me? This is all another stop on my journey... a stop to keep it rich and exciting.

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